Have you ever thought about all of the great perks of living as a non-celebrity?

You can enjoy a dinner out without the peering eyes of autograph seekers. You probably never have to worry about annoying paparazzi.  And, you’re pretty much guaranteed that a close up of your backside in a bathing suit won’t ever appear on a tabloid cover (I say Thank God for that!). The joys of anonymity can be lovely.

On the flip side, I’ve discovered that ordinary living has a few of it’s own pitfalls.  Just like stars can get sucked in to the dark side of celebrity, we can get sucked into the dark side of routines and ruts. Have you ever gotten to the point where you feel like life is becoming a lot like the movie Groundhog Day?

There’s a quick and easy antidote and it has to do with big dreams and baby steps. I recently read an article on Toya Shibata, a 99 year-old best selling Japanese poet who recently released her first anthology with great success.  Want to know the kicker?

She began writing poetry at the age of 92!

There are so many paths for us to take, but none of them matter if we don’t allow ourselves to see the paths or take those first baby steps down them.  It’s never too late to go for a dream, to try something new, or to explore something completely out of your comfort zone.

That’s what keeps life vibrant and it also keeps you interesting (to yourself and to others).  So what have you been waiting to do?  Can you take a teeny tiny baby step down that path somehow this week?

Go for it!

Extra-Ordinary Ideas

Read It:  Read about Toya’s journey to becoming a poet.  Inspirational!

Do It:  Throw out judgment when it comes to choosing something to explore – a new career, dance, photography, baking, computer programming, stamp collecting, volunteering – give yourself permission to investigate.

Think It: “Never give up on something you can’t go a day without thinking about.” Unknown

If you’re anyplace like I am, it’s cold, gray, and anything but tropical.  This is the time of year when it’s really (really, really, really) hard to be an optimist.  But in my perpetual quest to see the bright side, I’ve thought of a dozen ways to enJOY the moment despite the weather, the winter, and the weariness of January.

1. Quit believing everything you think. Your mind is telling you that it’s too cold, it’s not sunny enough, you need to go on a diet, yadda, yadda, yadda.  It’s human nature to focus on the negative. How many negative thoughts are running amuck in your mind?  The easiest way to stop them from multiplying like rabbits is to be aware of how much negativity you’re manufacturing.  Wouldn’t you rather manufacture something else?

2. Focus on comfort. Do you have a favorite pair of slippers? a cozy pair of socks? a sweater that you love to wear when it’s cold? Now is the time to grab it.  Wrap yourself up in feel good fabrics and favorites.

3. Be kind to yourself. This isn’t the time of year to beat yourself up about all that you’re not doing. Give yourself a break this month and give yourself permission to take it easy after a long day.  Get the essentials done … and the rest can wait.

4. Music, music, music. Find that song that makes you want to move.  A great pair of headphones and 3 minutes and you can totally turn your mood around.

5. Stay away from energy drains. Now is not the time to call up that friend who always has the world’s worst, saddest, or depressing story to tell.  Surround yourself with others who are trying to see the bright side during these dark days.

6. Mix it up. Try doing something out of order or unusual.  Breakfast for dinner, a movie on a weeknight, burgers, corn on the cob and baked beans for an indoor cook “out.”  The element of surprise will bring a smile to faces around you.

7. Color. Paper plates with a new design, a coral shirt that you usually reserve for spring … how can you use some color to brighten up your days?

8. Inspiration. Take a quick trip around the internet for quotes, music, and videos that inspire you.  Now is the time to give yourself a few extra minutes to soak in something that resonates with you.  I always take a look around TED talks this time of year.

9. Go to the Library. It’s free, easy, and has a world of whatever you want awaiting.  Peruse the travel books, especially the ones with pictures.  It will give you the motivation to keep working so you can take a great vacation in the summer.

10. Find the Funny. Nothing gets the endorphins flowing like a good laugh.  Have you checked out Awkward Family Photos yet?  What a brilliant idea.  And don’t miss the Awkward Family Stories – you can get to them from the home page.  Hys-ter-i-cal.

11. Start a Project. If you’re not the type to sit still and wait winter out, maybe a good project will lift your mood.  Project Life is a great place to get started.

12.  Master a Mantra. When all else fails, have a go to phrase.  Mine is currently “Spring is on the way.” Just thinking about all of the things that are happening already in preparation for Spring brings me hope.  And that’s a big Hooray!

Extra-Ordinary Ideas:

Read It:  If you have a favorite book, now might be the time to dig in and re-read it.  A great read can lift your spirits!

Do It: Explore some of the links listed above and share them with some friends.  Everyone appreciates being the recipient of a nice email.

Think It: “Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.” Victor Hugo

Since it’s January, I’m sure you’ve had your fill of Christmas music for the season.  That’s why I decided to mix it up a little because the best way to bring JOY to THE world is to bring JOY to YOUR world.

Have you thought about what brings you joy lately?  And more importantly is your life set up so that you can actually enjoy some of those things on a regular basis?

I have a trick I use that some of you may have heard me speak about before.  It’s called a Joy Map.  Several years ago I was teaching a college writing class.  I had my students do a Joy Map by putting Joy in the center of a piece of paper.  They then had to put 12 circles around the paper and fill those circles in with guaranteed joy experiences.  As they were working, I put my joy map on the board.  I had all kinds of cool stuff up there … going on dates, taking long walks, visiting with my best friend … and on and on. I walked around the classroom to see how the students were progressing.  When I turned to go back to the front of the room, I was stopped in my tracks!  I didn’t do any of the things on my Joy Map anymore.

I had let my life get filled up with obligations and stress and worry.  I knew something had to change.  That was the beginning of the many great things that have filled my life since that fall day.  I made sure to start bringing some of those things back into my life.

The New Year is a great time to create your own JOY map.  It’s simple and quick, and all you need is a piece of paper and a pen.  I try to create one at least twice a year because it’s ever evolving and changing.  Make sure you’re putting things that actually bring you joy instead of things you think are “supposed” to bring you joy.

I did a quick 2011 version this morning, and I’ve posted the pic here for you to see.

Here’s to bringing some JOY to your world. I know I’m looking forward to upping the JOY factor in my own life.  Happy New Year!  Make someone’s day and forward them The Ordinary Matters.

eXtra Ordinary Ideas:

Read It:  Seeking Peace: Chronicles of the Worst Buddhist in the World by Mary Pipher

Those of you who have stuggled with worry or anxiety will get some great insights from this book, especially in the second half.   Pipher’s text is easy to read and powerful in spots.  She hits the mark on what it’s like to be a constant worrier and offers solutions that helped her find some peace. She has worked for many years as a psychotherapist, so her knowledge is vast.

Do It:  Take the JOY Map Challenge.  Sketch out your own joy map.  In fact, send me a pic when you do!

Think It:  “Joy is not in things; it is in us.” Richard Wagner

Around this time every year I begin to hear JAWS music rising softly in the background of my life. Before long it will crescendo as I furiously cross off lists, make last minute panic purchases, and run out to buy another roll of scotch tape (I swear someone is eating the stuff).

So how are you feeling about the Holidays?

The only antidote I’ve found to Christmas Chaos is to go with the flow of the holidays in all of their messiness. It’s much easier to float than to swim upstream to reach perfection.

One way to ease the pressure is to collect moments.

Be aware enough to recognize those little moments in the season when the unexpected and divine happens. Remember to register the surge of joy they bring before mentally folding them up and storing them in your shoe for safekeeping.

These moments fill me up and allow me to keep going when I don’t think I can possibly hear one more Christmas song, wrap one more package, or enter one more store.

An unexpected dance to Christmas music in the kitchen, watching my kids hang a favorite ornament on the tree, a hug from a friend I haven’t seen forever, the lights twinkling as I drive through the neighborhood, adding another splash of bourbon to the eggnog (ok, you get the picture).

Make sure to feel your feel good moments this season. Sometimes it’s easy to gloss over the good stuff when there’s so much other stuff to do or when thoughts of the holidays produce melancholy for those people and times that we’ve lost.

The holidays are waiting for us to pay attention to those little things that make them worth waiting for all year long for. Collect some treasures this year for yourself.

Merry Christmas to You!

EXTRA-Ordinary Ideas

Read It: Need a laugh this season? This is the book that will do it.
Holidays on Ice: Stories

Do It: Go the extra step and write down those little moments that make this holiday special. A list on the pantry door that everyone can add to is a great way to spread holiday cheer.

Think It: “Every night I turn my worries over to God. He’s going to be up all night anyway.” Mary C. Crowley

I wanted to take a quick second to say a big Thank You to all of the readers and supporters of The Ordinary Matters! I wish you and your family a very Happy Holiday.

Check out this bit of video created by a university student. I love kicking off the holiday season by watching a few of my favorite movies, and Love Actually is one of them!